On Thursday, I had wine with brunch. That’s because I am officially no longer a youth folks, that’s the sort of thing I can do now I am a freewheeling 20 year old. Isn’t that great? Maybe? I think?
It was my 20th birthday on Thursday. I did have a really lovely day, but the loveliness was intercut with panicky thoughts of ‘I’m no longer a teenager, this means taxes are approaching. How do I council tax? What if I get called up for jury duty? DO I NEED A PENSION YET?’ Although I am technically an adult, I don’t feel I know how to ‘correctly adult’. I know about loans and deposits fees and my dad has tried to walk me through pensions but I just feel like I’m lost in the foggy world of grown-ups. I mean, I’m sure I will learn along the way. That’s just how life goes.
Although I don’t know a lot about ‘correctly adulting’, I know a few things I’ve picked up from other people and from my own mistakes. Maybe this’ll help a few of you stuck in the ‘HELP I’M GOING TO BE AN ADULT’ phase – Heavens know I needed all the help and advice I could get. Here’s my Twenty Things From a Twenty Year Old.
- Being an adult is being tired. If I ring my parents, see a work colleague, meet up with some friends, the same conversation happens – ‘Hello, how are you?’ ‘Well, I’m tired but alright’ ‘Oh, I’m exactly the same’. Where did our energy go? Who stole it? These are the questions that need to be answered. I think it begins to vanish once you turn 18 and properly leaves when the word ‘teen’ is taken from our age.
- Never mix wines. Say this from experience. Never mix wines. You may think that ‘Oh, they are both made of grapes! I’ve finished my white, let’s move on to red! This is a good idea!’ No. It’s not a good idea. It is really not. The morning after will tell you that.
- If you are a student, don’t be ashamed of our good friend the overdraft. In between the sporadic releases of student loans and monthly pay days, it can be a legitimate life saver. Get one, use one, pay your rent on time, and don’t have a breakdown. Wahay!
- Wetherspoons is the only place you will ever need for food or drink. Especially when it’s a Thursday.
- Who is ready for some advice gained from a Rosie Regret? I know I am! We all know that parents say ‘don’t stand on chairs’. When you are little, you think they are just trying to spoil your game of the floor is lava. When you are 19, you just forget that piece of advice because you want to be a strong independent woman who can hang fairy lights on her ceiling without the help of anyone else. Word of advice; listen to your parents and don’t stand on chairs. You could fall off the chair, land on a metal bedframe, head to A&E with a suspected broken bone, get told by a nurse you have such bad contusions it looks like you’ve been in a motorcycle accident, and you have to be on bed rest for a week. I mean, it could very easily happen to you too…
- Don’t be afraid to treat yo’ self, even when you are being healthy. Being healthy is hard. All you can think about is that Chinese food you are missing out on, craving that Pepsi, sighing at the rain you are about to jog in. It is worth it, being healthy feels good. BUT (and that is a big, Nicki Minaj sized but at that), treat yo’ self. Eat you lettuce, drink your kale smoothies, monitor those carbs, but don’t cut out everything. Have that cheeky Dominoes every few weeks. Eat that Galaxy when you are cramping. Have that greasy MacDonald’s when you are hungover. You can be fit and healthy, but don’t make yourself sad over it. Treat yo’ self.
- The world is obsessed with finding love. The majority of Disney movies tell us that we will only be fully happy when we find true love (here’s looking at you Disney princesses). I see so many people on social media saying ‘daaaaaamn, I need me a boyfriend’. You don’t. I get it; love is wonderful and powerful and worth it. But you can wonderful and powerful and worth it without love. I was before I was in love, and I am whilst in love. You don’t need a partner to be able to feel full of worth.
- This gets shoved down our throats daily, but IT’S OKAY TO FAIL. Failing doesn’t make you a failure, in the same way baking doesn’t make you a baker (a little bit different but you get what I mean).
- Let me tell you a Rosie secret; soy sauce is my secret ingredient to everything. Stir fry? Add soy sauce. Pasta dish? Add soy sauce. Making a cake? Soy sauce. Don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it.
- This one has taken me a long time to learn and accept – it is worth it though. You’ve got to cut out the negativity. Sometimes, we can’t avoid it. That’s life. But if you can cut it out, do it. A quick word of advice though; try and make it a positive first. Don’t instantly jump in and cut a problem out (unless it is necessary to do so) as you could cause serious damage and negativity yourself. Try and talk through the negativity, make people aware. If you can’t, you take those jumbo sized scissors, and cut that negativity out. Negativity doesn’t seem like a real word anymore. Negativity.
- Never be ashamed to wear last night’s make-up the next day. I am the QUEEN of this. I forget to take off make-up in the night, roll out of bed at 8.45am, find my make-up is fierce, top up the concealer, and run to my Shakespeare lecture looking like I got up in time for this 9am. If you are still rocking that cat eye liner from last night, top up the powder and the Ruby Woo, and get on with your day. (Just don’t do it for three days in a row, that stuff is bad for your skin).
- Fitness isn’t actually the devil. Who knew?! The torture of high school PE may have been terrible and left a lot of people with crippling self-doubt, but when you find your fitness jam, it’s wonderful! At the end of a jog, I feel I can take on the world (after a 20 minute breather). After yoga, I feel like the most Zen person the world has ever seen (for about 10 minutes). It’s just the getting up and starting which is the hard bit.
- Judging someone by their ‘virginity’ or ‘lack of’ is wrong. Judging some by the number of sexual partners they’ve had is wrong. Judging someone by their sexuality at all is wrong. Simple? Simple. I don’t need to repeat myself, do I?
- Dogs are the only perfect thing on this planet.
- Take risks, but don’t be a risky fool. Kiss that person you’ve had a crush on for two months, don’t do it if you are in a monogamous relationship. Choose a degree that you enjoy even if the jobs are low pay, don’t choose a degree you know nothing about. Order a jumbo quesadilla if you’ve never had one before, don’t do that if you are highly lactose intolerant. Raise awareness for the issues between the EU and Britain, don’t lie to get votes.
- Being sad doesn’t make you weak or stupid or broken. Come on, this is the 21st If someone says this to you, they are ridiculously wrong and you shouldn’t have anything more to do with them. Sadness is an emotion. You are alive. You are not weak.
- Cuddles solve a lot. They don’t solve everything, but they make a few things better.
- Platonic relationships are just as important as romantic ones. Make time for friends, stay over their houses, go on holiday with them. Don’t leave friends out in the cold, just because you’ve found someone else you like to spend time with.
- Drunk women in bathrooms are gems. I go in needing a pee, I come out glowing from compliments, have a new lipstick on, and 5 spare tampons in my bag. God bless those drunken bathroom fairies.
- Old white men in high positions either make the world a better place or ruin it. You can apply that to literature, films, or reality if you want. Let’s try and support the former, eh?
So, there are my tips, hints and advice from my twenty years of falling over, making mistakes, and trying my best.
What is the best life tip you have? What’s your opinion on adulting properly?
Thanks for reading,
(Originally posted on July 10th 2016 @ https://rosiealou.wordpress.com/2016/07/10/twenty-tips-from-a-twenty-year-old/)